What’s going on fag faces? I just got home from having lunch with my baby gooorrrl Kae Kae. We went to this gourmet burger joint that has the best fucking hamburgers in the world. Authentic ingredients, freshly made, all that shit. I like the .. i think its 1/4 lb? with cheese, no mustard and a large cherry limeade. OMG their limeades are the best in the world too. I feel like such a fat ass but no regrets. Worth it. Speaking of fat ass I’m really disappointed in myself that I started doing Zumba last month and had commited to it for 3 weeks, but then I got my period and was against bleeding and sweating at the saaaammme time so I stopped then became a lazy fuck. I swear to gawd I’m going to start again this week, even though I’ve been saying that the past 3 weeks, but whatever FOR REAL THIS TIME!!!! I wanna be really fit and toned for summer obviously.
Ok so moving on … I joined Tinder a few weeks ago right? I found this dude on there that I had been dating a year ago named Nick and I have to admit I’m fucking sprung on this guy. The dick was soooooooooooooo goooooooood. He could go forever and I’d cum soo many times with him cuz we’d just fuck for hours, but then we got in a fight and split up. So yaeh almost a full year later he pops up on Tinder and I’m kinda happy because I want the dick like seriiiouuusssly I need him to fuck me good like he always did but I don’t knooooow. Something suspicious is going on with him. He seems to be depressed or something so I don’t even know, he seems to have no self esteem or enthusiasm anymore so that suuuckkkss 🙁 I’m sad. But then I also got liked up with this dude named Tyler who I met the summer after senior year of high school who is really hot, but a yuppie ass white boy Patrick Bateman type. 6’2, fit, good hair, chiseled jaw, “classy”, wears suits all the time, rich and shit. We’ve fucked before and it was aight. I mean the dick was BIG abuot 8.5 but the sex wasn’t that great cuz he just porn star pounded me and I was over it and didn’t answer his phone calls anymore. So he’s all like “Why did we become a one night stand? Why don’t you fuck me again blah blah blah” and I’m like hmm ok maybe because its been a few years and maybe he done stepped up his fuck game like I don’t even know … So I got his number and he was wanting to get together and fuck this weekend but I dunno like I just felt like sitting around in warm pjs, sipping on wine and watching movies all weekend lol. But yeah I’ll maybe call him up next weekend and see what’s up. I have an inbox full of other dudes who are straight up about wanting to fuck but I’m not into it … they’re mostly all losers, corny af with noooooooo game whatsoever, lame ass whities. There was this one dude I was kinda feeling who is half black, tall, super muscular, HOT, actually kinda smart .. but he’s freaking overseas in the damn military and won’t be home for another 2 months. Bloop. FML. The dick wheel spins round and round.
So anyway yeah I was staying home this weekend, just chilling and of COURSE was on NF all weekend .. and let me just say I FUCKING LOVE MY JOB and I love you freak fuckers who call giving me all your money while entertaining me at the same time. Last night I was sooooooo busy talking to faggots nonstop that I swear at like 8am I was exhausted and just passed the fuck out lol. My favorite lame ass with this faggot bitch named Rich who called me like 5x to tell me bout the most redneck shit I’ve ever heard in my life. He said his wife Sara went out of town and left him home alone with his 19 year old step daughter Gina who had her friends Julie and Darrell. And I think he said he confronted her that she needed to do chores, eat dinner, something I forget but the most important thing is that Gina refused and told Rich to go fuck himself. He tried to talk back so this fucking teenage girl stood up, pushed his asss down and started kicking him in the stomach and in the head lol. The bitch passed out and when he woke up he was all dizzy and had a bruised face and noticed the kids still in the room with him. They were like oh look the bitch woke up! And started laughing at him teasing him for being a wimp, a little bitch, a faggot and told him that he belonged in in panties and a skirt which they told him he needed to dress in or else they would beat his little bitch ass again lol! I asked him what he did then and he was like “Well I did what they said! I didn’t want them to beat me up! They would punch me in the face and that shit hurts” lol like what kind of a grown man little shit can’t take on 2 fucking teenage girls and is fucking afraid of them?! So his dumb ass put on the sissy clothes and when they forced him to take off his pants and change into panties they saw that not only was he a weak little bitch … he had a fucking clit dick too! And he showed me this fucker and I was really confused at first like WTF did you send me a picture of your belly button? But it turned out it was actually his little nub of a penis lmaooo!! Nasty ass tic tac looking shit. Anyway, after laughing their asses off and forcing him into sissy clothes they told him he didn’t even had a dick, he had a clit therefore he needed to act like a girl and suck some dick .. they made this little bitch get on his knees and suck on Darrell’s fat black dick .. which he did happily and even swallowed his cum if it meant he didn’t get his ass beat again lmao. After sucking Darrell’s dick they made him get up and do the laundry, fold clothes, wash dishes and basically take care of all of the chores like the sissy maid bitch that he is. OMG I could keeep going on forever about all of the shit we talked about for nearly 3 hours, but I need a nap and promised my nephew I’d watch Christine with him first so toodles fuckers. CALL ME!
Evidence that dich is a tiny dick bitch who sucks cock